the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
