its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Also, beer. Big fan.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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