overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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