My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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