Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
