you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
