I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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