they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
