I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Randomize
