JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
