i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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