You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
