Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
