is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
