do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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