I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
