hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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