i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize