I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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