I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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