Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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