he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
