Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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