Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
