Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Randomize
