Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
