Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
