She's never allowed to turn 21 again
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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