Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
