i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
