Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
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