is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Randomize
