his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
