lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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