me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
