I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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