hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
