Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
