guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
