found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
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