watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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