Kiss
Puke
It was confusing and full of hummus
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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