It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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