Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
