its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
