well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
The air taste purple.
Randomize
