The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
