We need to start having sex underwater more often.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize