Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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