She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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