your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
What a fucking waste of an outfit
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
