Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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