fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
