Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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