..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
