youre lurking in front of me
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
