Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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