so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
You were trust falling into bushes
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
soo... how was my night?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
