Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
