she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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