JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
