make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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