I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
